Over the past week, a number of strangers offered comments that were unsolicited. Although I was in a business setting, I heard, “The blouse is new, the shoes look clean but the jacket is outdated.” “Your name really is this ______, not what you are calling yourself!” and finally, because I had small drops of moisture on my glasses and wanted to take the drops off, “You shouldn’t be cleaning your glasses, you should be speaking to the people other there!” Perhaps these comments belong to the new phrase “organizational rudeness.” As a Professional, you learn to listen to and not immediately respond to words so as not to take the words personally. What causes you not to “take it too personally”?
A man may cry out in pain and may blame everyone around him in a hospital, and the staff doesn’t take it personally. A woman giving birth may cry out against her pain, and the staff doesn’t take it personally. What causes us to not take anything personally?
I am reminded of the philosophy of Miguel Ruiz who offers that it belongs to the person speaking in anger, to be angry. It belongs to the person speaking rudely, to be rude. It belongs to the person who is out of line, to be out of line.
Mistakes happen and most are true accidents of time, of attention, of nature, of unforeseen events. It’s how we behave when an accident occurs that drives a conversation or event.
While attending a conference recently, one of the event coordinators laid long fabric I.D. holders on the welcome table. I placed one around my neck and fastened it to the Name Badge. Within minutes it become clear something was wrong and I didn’t feel well. My eyes were burning and I knew I was exposed to an allergen, perhaps on the I.D. holder? I returned the I.D. holder and the Coordinator knew by looking at my face what was wrong. I didn’t ask for, yet She sincerely apologized and we went on our separate ways. No discussion took place, nothing was taken personally, we just went about our day.
“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”* I do believe this phrase needs a bit brushing off, so it can gain popularity again. What do you think as you choose Who You Want To Be Known As? Enjoy your week!
“Jo Ann” M. Radja, Career Management Coach & Change Agent May 2, 2012
*The Christian Recorder in 1862 suggested the Sticks and Stones phrase really represents courage –“True courage is doing what is right, despite the jeers and sneers of our companions.”
Haven’t you heard this phrase? The fashion industry reinvents fashion trends every 40 years or so. An example of this is a scarf my grandmother owned and a slender neck scarf I wore in the late 1980’s. They have the same color schemes, yet the design, form and function is different.
There are many management organizations which are still in business, e.g. Peter F. Drucker Institute, Zig Ziglar, Dale Carnegie Training, and the Grateful Dead Band. The primary message each of these companies express is still relevant in our global communities. The implementation of their messages probably wasn’t even considered when they were developed; yet practical applications currently abound in our workplace and are reapplied to fit within our lives.
There is much discussion, within conventional wisdom today, about four generations of employees working together. What works, what doesn’t work and why. Where does the responsibility lie for a better understanding among each of these four generations as to how they work and live together? We’ve heard the phrases: “They’re so old…they’re so young…I do things differently…they don’t understand.”
If we can start with ourselves and consider what triggers us to be comfortable within a different age group, it may lead to a better understanding. What do we want someone older or younger than we are, to know about us? All of us have been in this situation. How do we want to be spoken to, and why – perhaps that’s the first step in choosing How We Want to Be Known As in our multi-generational world. Have a great week!
Jo Ann M. Radja, Career Management Coach & Change Agent 0426/12
Last Friday, I attended a business presentation one-half block away from Chicago’s famous Lake Shore Drive. Not only was the temperature in the high 40’s, the wind was everywhere. The wind pushed me forward; it made me push against it, while I walked the final block to the meeting. When I walked across the street, the wind pushed my hair upwards! I felt like I floated into the building once I pushed through the revolving entrance.
We’ve all heard the phrase of “being up against it.” It usually means getting something done in a short period of time. So how do you “push” through whatever makes you feel you’re “up against it”? What pressure do you feel when you are “pushing” to get something done? What trigger points come into play while you are “pushing” to get it done?
The easy part is knowing you do have a deadline. Many people thrive while “pushing against it”, but certainly not all. During this last week of April, Spring continues to “push through” it’s seasonal cycle. While you are “pushing up against it” this week, Choose Who You Want to Be Known As. Enjoy your week!
“Jo Ann” M. Radja, Career Management Coach & Change Agent 04/23/12
Yesterday, I came across a misplaced copy of an article I was considering writing about. The subject matter is: organizational silence*. This phrase simply means not just speaking up when you know something is wrong. It means continuing to work knowing you have no apparent options and hoping you are wrong.
It takes practice to know if something is amiss. Why? Our perceptions may not be based on fact. We may not work in an environment where it’s okay to bring up serious concerns. Many people have learned to “go along to get along.” Or, have you learned to only tell your boss what he/she wants to hear?
So my questions for you this week are: How do YOU want to be told that a serious problem exists? Do YOU want to hear the “short version” or the “long version”? How do YOU know that something sounds true or not? Placing yourself in the position of someone else may open up a perspective to help you learn more about YOU.
Organizational silence really exists in many forms, so Choose Who You Want To Be Known As. Enjoy your week.
Jo Ann M. Radja, Career Management Coach & Change Agent 04/16/12
* Hefferman, Margaret. July 5, 2011. “A Corporate Epidemic: See No Evil, Hear No Evil Workers.” http://www.bnet.com/blog Retrieved July 21, 2011.
As I was approaching a friend’s driveway, I noticed a young dog standing on three legs, by the side of the road next to my friend’s fence. Perhaps the dog was standing in a yoga pose, with one leg bent upwards. It was a first time for me to see a dog that way.
After I parked my car in the driveway, I looked at the dog, some 20 yards away. The dog saw me and started to walk over, on four legs! The dog started to walk around my car and smiled. Another car approached. The driver rolled down her window, as did I, and we spoke. She said she also saw the dog standing on three legs; she thought it was a lame lost dog, so she doubled back to check it out. (What I didn’t know at the time was that the dog was a pit bull.)
The other driver had a spare leash in her car, which she fastened to the dog’s neck. The dog seemed eager to come up to me and the woman driver couldn’t believe the dog did not belong to me. The other driver was becoming insistent that I knew the dog and that the dog lived at the home I was about to visit. Finally, the other driver offered and agreed to drop the dog off at a neighborhood shelter and we said our goodbyes.
I later wondered how often we see something and are not sure what to make of it. What do we do? How do we handle the situation? What do our senses tell us? Is our intuition working for us that day?
As we begin our week, how can we address a situation that may seem odd or uncomfortable – with a different approach. Is our judgment taking over a situation instead of our being more aware, and keeping an open mind? Whatever your choose, it will be Who You Want To Be Known As. Have a great week!
Jo Ann M. Radja, Career Management Coach & Change Agent April 9, 2012
Isn’t it humbling and also wonderful to be told you had done well. It came out of the blue for me recently.
So how are you motivated to do well? What steps have you taken or considered to take to let your boss know what you need to succeed?
Since we are beginning to move through the month of April – the new beginnings of Spring are all around us. What new beginnings will you think about this week to keep your motivation on track or increase? What conversations will you have with your team members to learn more about what motivates them? How will these different perspectives work into what you need to do well and be motivated?
We really don’t have to wait for a reason. The month of April will motivate us daily to think about new beginnings and Who We Want To Be Known As. Enjoy!
Jo Ann M. Radja, Career Management Coach & Change Agent 04/02/12
“Most of the time, you can’t go home. In my case, you can go home.” Lionel Richie
I heard this phrase spoken by Lionel Richie recently as he was interviewed about his new business venture with country music stars. It was quite sometime since I listened to someone utter those words, and I thought – what do we bring from our “homes” to the workplace?
When we think about “home”, do we mean our upbringing home, or where we live now, or a place in our life that “felt like home”? Were you the first-born or the last-born child? Were you the compromiser, middle child? Did you have a small family, a large family or no family?
Whatever your sense of “home” may be, what positive values do you bring to the work place from your feelings of “home”? What impact, if any, does your sense of home have for you today, in what you presently do? Since your life experiences have led you to where you are today, I wish you a good week in all your actions of Who You Want To Be Known As.
Jo Ann M. Radja, Career Management Coach & Change Agent 03/25/12
A while ago, I caught myself becoming annoyed by a perception of rude behavior. Have you been in that situation recently? The second time it happened with this company, I asked the person I was speaking to, if I said something he thought was inappropriate. The answer was, No. I did explain to him why I asked the question, in an effort to see if I said something that may have led to the other’s behavior. He then put me on hold. What I subsequently learned was that he listened to my prior call, and verified what had happened. He said I was okay, but was I really?
Reframing is a Coaching concept. It means to restate the issue in a more favorable light, resulting in positive thoughts. As you become more aware of how YOU are facing the situation, you are able to move the focus from frustration to – how can I find the answer to move the process along for me because I am responsible for my actions?
Reframing is not necessarily keeping your emotions in check, rather, it is about becoming aware of what’s driving the frustration, at that moment, and how you move out of it. All of this may take seconds or minutes. Learning what it takes to move through our emotions during the day is a process. Yes, a process which takes practice.
Who do you want to be known as…a frustrated person, feeling stuck?
Who do you want to be known as…a proactive person, learning to Reframe an awkward or uncomfortable situation for yourself? Understanding how choosing a different way to approach a situation, leads to understanding yourself better. You may surprise yourself so that you will have a better day in whatever you may be doing. Have a great week!
Jo Ann M. Radja, Career Management Coaching & Change Agent
March 19, 2012
Are you stretching yourself today in whatever you are involved in? A few days ago, I was working on a project and noticed color spectrums on my apartment wall coming from a small crystal at my window. A few of the “rainbows” bounced off another wall or over a wall. I know this last sentence sounds a bit off, but it did happen. So how did that happen? I surely don’t know, although I did try to measure how the light travelled, or bounced off another object.
The picture above this Blog is a color spectrum that shot over 20 feet from the small crystal, when there was no direct line to the bedroom door.
Growing up we learn about “the stretch”. We were taught to stretch: when we are learning a new task — when we are stretching to increase a budding talent. How far of “a stretch” is it for you to do something?
Stretching today is all about getting out of your comfort zone. What can I do today that I didn’t do before or how can I act differently in a situation I’ve been in before. When you “stretch” you learn about you and Who You Want To Be Known As. Enjoy your day.
Jo Ann M. Radja, Career Management Coach & Change Agent 02/24/12
Career Management Coaching 