“The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.” Albert Einstein
Over the past few days, I’ve read a number of blogs from Social Media Influencers and Government Leaders. Stories emerged of how dysfunction not only causes breakdowns in communication but reason takes a backseat at a place of work. We may become a bystander to a discussion that causes us to become very uncomfortable and we don’t wish to enter the “fray.”
Some four years ago I was attending a Networking Event and was participating in a conversation between two men who were consultants. One man was from the East Coast and the other lived in a Chicago suburb. Another man, unknown to us, walked up and asked if he could join our group. We welcomed him (the black coat man) and he asked me about my business – that conversation led me to give him a sample coaching session. The man was eager and surprised himself by telling me something he had not told his wife; he was uncomfortable with the disclosure and decided to walk away. The two consultants offered that I shouldn’t have given my time to someone who clearly wasn’t appreciative of joining our discussion group.
What happened next was an example of personal mindfulness. The black coat man walked around the room and said to more than a handful of people, “You see that woman in the red jacket [meaning me] she won’t talk to me.” People began to ask, “Do you know that man?” It was unclear to many why the black coat man continued his pointing at me and saying she won’t talk to me.
Mindfulness allow you to become aware of your surroundings, what you are thinking, what you are feeling and what these sensations mean to you at that moment. Emotional Intelligence is a learned process where mindfulness forms the basis for you to manage yourself and by doing so, manage others. As you manage your emotions you are able to assist someone else likewise. Put another way, you observe what is happening around you, describe what it means to you, accept that someone else has something going on causing a disturbance, don’t take it personally and don’t become judgmental. While it may seem like a balancing act between your mind and your heart, in fact, it is a process that allow you control over how you are in the moment. The image above displays the end result of mind and heart balance – when you are comfortable in the emotional intelligence realm.
Emotional intelligence is a process and it most definitely can be learned. How you act in the moment is what I call, “Choose Who You Want to be Known As.” Since today is the last day of June we have another beginning in our imperfect world tomorrow on July 1st. Have a great month of July in your chosen career path!
“Jo Ann” M. Radja, Executive and Career Management Coach
Dancing is just part of the discovery, discovery, discovery. Martha Graham
During your career, have you danced in the dance of “One Up, One Down and What’s You?” It’s been happening frequently in the Midwest this Spring. The dance begins when you meet someone and you start a conversation. The What’s You dance occurs when the sincerity of both people leads the dance and each person dances away from an engaging business conversation. The One Up dance starts shortly after the conversation begins and one person keeps circling around the other, demonstrating a perceived betterment, for whatever reason. This dance usually ends as each party has opposite views and a sense of connectedness was lacking in the dance. The One Down dance takes more time. Patience, Humility, Curiosity or Discovery of self, or the other, is flowing through the conversational dance. Both people feel they have left the dance with a takeaway to be used or considered in the future. While I just described three dances, I know you can name many others. What type of career dance have you participated in this Spring? What did you discover about yourself and has it helped you in your career? What should have happened that didn’t? What first step are you able to take, to move closer to the conversation dance that you want? Summer officially begins during the latter part of this week. I hope this Summer Season in your career brings you closer to the dance where YOU Choose Who You Want to be Known As. Have a great week! “Jo Ann” M. Radja, Career Management Coach & Change Agent Note: http://www.wordpress/disclosures
Valentine’s Day — It’s the second best day for Hallmark Cards. Florists and Chocolatiers also love this day. What’s your take on it?
How about it’s a Day for YOU! Whether the love of your life is with you or not, Valentine’s Day reminds us that Spring is not long off. So why not celebrate this cultural day on our calendar as it’s a Day for YOU! So many of us have endured a winter that seems never to end. Many employers asked their employees to head home yesterday at Noon in the Southeast States. They were greeted with so much snow, many people left their cars abandoned on highways. So, why not give yourself a Day for YOU! to remember how you lived through it and started another day anew.
It’s a well known concept in the Coaching field that when you take care of yourself, you are able to handle more easily the next challenge that comes your way. As you Choose Who You Want to be Known As, I hope you choose a Day for YOU that makes you smile. Happy Valentine’s Day . . . from the Midwest!“Jo Ann” M. Radja, Career Management Coaching and Change Agent 02/13/14
Two days ago in my home State of Illinois, a multitude of tornadoes struck communities in at least 13 Counties. [It was reported some 17 tornadoes were sited and by Monday morning, 80 tornadoes blew through the Midwest Region.]
Many people who were interviewed, spoke about how grateful they were to be alive. While their home was destroyed, they could rebuild. While their possessions were taken in this act of nature, their life was spared. While years of joy in maintaining and furnishing their home was wiped out in a second or two, they were in a community of friends and neighbors (nearby and within Illinois), who gave them solace and friendship. The SYMBOL OF GRATITUDE resided in their hearts. Finding the personal truth in yourself during a time of crisis is a learned virtue as these citizens Chose Who they wanted to Be Known As.
The symbol of gratitude itself has been a bit difficult to track down. The circle is an accepted symbol of inclusiveness and represents many aspects of our human nature. Our Global community throughout the world has roots within the spirituality of GRATITUDE and the use of a circle symbol.
An art exhibit entitled, “Beauty and the Brain Revealed” is presently on display at the AAAS Art Gallery in Washington, D.C. Five days ago, Megan Gambino posted a Blog explaining this Art Exhibit http://blogs.smithsonianmag.com/artscience/2013/11/do-our-brains-find-certain-shapes-more-attractive-than-others/). Her Blog included a brief video of two Neuroscience Experts who discuss how our brains relate to abstract shapes.
Whether from exemplary observations of our neighbors or from recognized Neuroscientists, Choose Who You Want to be Known As in your careers, during this wintry week of November, 2013.
“Jo Ann” M. Radja, Career Management Coach
Notes: “Beauty and the Brain Revealed” is on display at the AAAS Art Gallery in Washington, D.C., through January 3, 2014. Read more: http://blogs.smithsonianmag.com/artscience/2013/11/do-our-brains-find-certain-shapes-more-attractive-than-others/#ixzz2l6p7kWlg Follow us: @SmithsonianMag on Twitter
Why do we find some works of art so appealing? The exhibition Beauty and the Brain Revealed at the American Association for the Advancement of Science builds on a 2010 collaboration between the Zanvyl Krieger Mind/Brain Institute at the Johns Hopkins University and
the Walters Art Museum to examine how the brain perceives abstract sculpture. The original project was initiated and funded by the Johns Hopkins Brain Science Institute. Gallery visitors will wear 3-D glasses to explore digitally morphed versions of sculpture and learn how 3-D
shape characteristics relate to aesthetic preferences. Through January 3, 2014
http://srhrl.aaas.org/projects/science_society/neurosociety/art.shtml November 19, 2013.
It’s not often that we speak about vulnerability in our private lives. We tend to look to the experts around us to assess and manage the risks we may be exposed to in our neighborhoods, our communities and the world at large. Our governments strive to keep order for the common good and our well being. Yet, Vulnerability is an attribute we may not apply to ourselves. Speaking positively, we are, have been and will continue to be vulnerable. It’s how we learn about ourselves.
Staff within the Federal Government (at fs.fed.us) describe Vulnerability this way:
Adjustment goes hand in hand with being vulnerable as demonstrated by the following graph from a Peace Corps worker named Bailey:
Choosing to become vulnerable allows you to work though and learn about yourself in ways you had not considered before. If you drew your last few months of activities, what would your graph look like? How often did you consider yourself to be Vulnerable? What sensitivities did you realize you had by letting go of a habit, or by learning something new?
A well-known International Coaching Expert, Brené Brown describes Vulnerability as follows:
Very recently, I attended a two-day Coaching Seminar on cultural competency. I participated in a brief exercise to understand and recognize Vulnerability. It was an enlightening experience. So please enjoy your activities during this first full week of November as You Choose Who You Want to be Known As.
“Jo Ann” M. Radja, Career Management Coach and Change Agent
Labor we perform is
Appreciated and celebrated
By our Bosses
On this day in the USA. It
Reminds us of what we give back to our community.
Dependability, timeliness and a job well done
Are a few values we give our employer/company.
Yes, we’re happy to be given a day off to take a break.
© “Jo Ann” M. Radja, Career Management Coach and Change Agent
Thanks to all of you for reading this Blog and my other Social Media posts. Have a great Labor Day!
Don’t let other people’s opinion define who you are. Les Brown
A few years ago, a Group Member posted the above quotation. I keep a copy of it in one of my travelling see-through make-up bags. It is a reminder of how we choose to manage our own emotions within our careers when meeting other people we come in contact with. Have you ever been asked the question in a somewhat unfriendly way in your career — “Why are YOU here?” During the past few years it’s a question I’ve been asked at business conferences, meetings and sometimes during networking events.
When I hear the question I answer it directly. Surprisingly, my response may not be what the other person expected or wanted to hear. Because we are responsible for our own actions, we can’t know the other person’s hidden agenda(s). Opportunities do, however, present themselves daily to be mindful so you can acknowledge and accept someone else the way they are.
What is the first thought that comes to mind, when you hear this question? How many seconds do you pause before speaking? What message do you want to convey in your answer? Why is it important for you to continue the conversation? How can you reframe the question so that you manage your response?
As You Choose Who You Want to be Known As, consider reframing a response, based on your values. Have a great week.
“Jo Ann” M. Radja, Career Management Coach & Change Agent