Over the past few days, I’ve read a number of blogs from Social Media Influencers and Government Leaders. Stories emerged of how dysfunction not only causes breakdowns in communication but reason takes a backseat at a place of work. We may become a bystander to a discussion that causes us to become very uncomfortable and we don’t wish to enter the “fray.”
Some four years ago I was attending a Networking Event and was participating in a conversation between two men who were consultants. One man was from the East Coast and the other lived in a Chicago suburb. Another man, unknown to us, walked up and asked if he could join our group. We welcomed him (the black coat man) and he asked me about my business – that conversation led me to give him a sample coaching session. The man was eager and surprised himself by telling me something he had not told his wife; he was uncomfortable with the disclosure and decided to walk away. The two consultants offered that I shouldn’t have given my time to someone who clearly wasn’t appreciative of joining our discussion group.
What happened next was an example of personal mindfulness. The black coat man walked around the room and said to more than a handful of people, “You see that woman in the red jacket [meaning me] she won’t talk to me.” People began to ask, “Do you know that man?” It was unclear to many why the black coat man continued his pointing at me and saying she won’t talk to me.
Mindfulness allow you to become aware of your surroundings, what you are thinking, what you are feeling and what these sensations mean to you at that moment. Emotional Intelligence is a learned process where mindfulness forms the basis for you to manage yourself and by doing so, manage others. As you manage your emotions you are able to assist someone else likewise. Put another way, you observe what is happening around you, describe what it means to you, accept that someone else has something going on causing a disturbance, don’t take it personally and don’t become judgmental. While it may seem like a balancing act between your mind and your heart, in fact, it is a process that allow you control over how you are in the moment. The image above displays the end result of mind and heart balance – when you are comfortable in the emotional intelligence realm.
Emotional intelligence is a process and it most definitely can be learned. How you act in the moment is what I call, “Choose Who You Want to be Known As.” Since today is the last day of June we have another beginning in our imperfect world tomorrow on July 1st. Have a great month of July in your chosen career path!
“Jo Ann” M. Radja, Executive and Career Management Coach