Do YOU have an Elephant in the Room?

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When the light around you lessens / And your thoughts darken /. . . Search yourself and see / That it is your own thinking / that darkens your world.   John O’Donohue

Earlier this afternoon, the following post was published under the title, “What’s YOUR Elephant in the Room?” https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/whats-your-elephant-room-jo-ann-m-radja    Here’s a copy for your reading:

“I just finished reading another LinkedIn Post about the paradox of innovation; namely, termination due to computer innovation. It took courage for an innovation expert who advises companies about innovation to share his personal story of how and why it came to be that his company fired staff. Yet, that ELEPHANT in the room idiom, had to be handled in a manner considering the employee’s best interest.

When we think about the idiom phrase of handling “the ELEPHANT in the room,” it usually refers to a subject matter that no one wants to discuss. Our brain perceives the conflict greater than it may be, represented by a large insurmountable figure.

Business Leaders accept the fact that the challenge of an ELEPHANT in the room must be dealt with. It is a conflict. Sometimes all that needs to be done is to have a conversation and the ELEPHANT is no longer in the room. Neuroscience, however, has offered a remarkable perspective, using an analogy of a Rider and an Elephant. The perspective is given by a Massachusetts Institute of Technology Neuroscientist, Mr. Emile Bruneau.

Bruneau explains the analogy as an example of how the brain handles conflict by stating – all the Rider can do is to train the Elephant because the Elephant is more powerful that the Rider. The Rider cannot control or fully understand the Elephant. While this story is recited in a Post by the United States Institute of Peace in an effort to teach people how to deal with conflict. I believe it speaks volumes for the business actions we are involved with. A tool is introduced to deal with conflict, “universal empathy.” http://www.usip.org/olivebranch/2016/05/05/dalai-lama-offers-hope-youth-leaders-and-vice-versa?utm_source=newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_term=event&utm_campaign=events_weekly

We know we cannot control another individual. Since we do not understand the perspective of the individual, represented by the Elephant idiom, we need to ask open-ended questions so that a two-sided conversation takes place. The How of this neuroscience perspective is to approach an Elephant in the room, with universal empathy. Questions such as, “How would you describe. . .” “What did you think would happen if . . .? “What did you expect would happen. . .”

What’s remarkable is that neuroscience now helps to explain the issue of how the ELEPHANT in the room, comes to be – in the first place. The ELEPHANT is an idiom character representing conflict, triggered by an unconscious bias. The tool — new phrase of “universal empathy” becomes a positive application to use with the conflict idiom.

The term “universal empathy” may become mainstream because it is an inclusive term. We want and do take the first step in handling a conflict. As we begin to practice the use of universal empathy – when we access our own Pause button – perhaps we can alleviate the ELEPHANT idiom character showing up. It’s another way of handling ourselves and Choosing Who We Want to be Known As in our chosen career. Have a great week!

“Jo Ann” M. Radja, Executive and Career Management Coach”

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What is it Right, Wrong or Gossip?

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Business-man-shredding-a-document Google042516

Out of some little thing, too free a tongue /  Can make an outrageous wrangle  Euripides

We sometimes forget that mistakes people make – are nonsensical.  Here’s an example.  Last Saturday I brought down to the loading dock of the building where I live three bags of paper; a worker from the shredding company was waiting for the paper to load onto his truck.  The bags were inside a wheeled, carry-all cooler that I use to cart around groceries and other items for my convenience.   The worker took each bag out individually and when he looked down at the bottom of the carry all, he saw some items he decided were garbage.  Which they weren’t.  He didn’t say anything to me about these items, he did say something to someone else.

My apartment stored a vacuum cleaner which was broken and could not be repaired. I left the loading dock area and went back to my apartment to retrieve it.  Another tenant saw me wheeling the vacuum cleaner, that I placed in the carry-all cooler toward the building recycling area; he offered help; he explained the vacuum cleaner had to be placed in a dumpster, not the recycling area because it had a plastic exterior cover.  He wheeled the vacuum cleaner to the dumpster (which I didn’t know existed), lifted up the carry-all cooler that held the vacuum cleaner and hoisted it over the top of the dumpster is a few seconds.  As I quickly said, “What are you doing? the carry-all cooler wasn’t even 2 years old; it is not garbage.”  “Oh, yes it is, the man replied.  The man outside (the shredding company worker) said your carry-all cooler carried garbage!”  Huh!  Needless to say, my wheeled carry-all cooler was removed from the dumpster, wiped clean, and is available for my use again.  Gossip has a life of its own and spreads more quickly than the truth.

IMG-20160425-00816It’s important to remember, whatever is left for pickup anywhere outside, it is available for anyone to look through and use. Happily, no garbage was in my carry-all cooler and the misconception was corrected.   No matter what your career path may be, let’s hope the perceptions we hold about someone else are based on reliable facts.  As you Choose Who You Want to be Known As this week, enjoy a gossip-free day!

Mindfulness also is a platform that may be utilized when faced with the example I have shared with you:  Observe, Describe, Accept, Don’t take it Personally and be Non-Judgmental.  Again, enjoy your week!

“Jo Ann” M. Radja, Executive and Career Management Coach

 

 

 

Culture Diversity Awareness Perspective

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Be forceful with yourself, learn to integrate the negative, harnessing its force to cross the boundaries that would confine you.  John O’Donohue

Earlier today I published the following post: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/article/weekend-cultural-perspective-jo-ann-m-radja for your weekend reading. . . thPZBEH363 Easter Tree Egg BING 032416

“Most of us read daily – reports, emails, online newspapers, LinkedIn posts, etc. A Spring surprise occurs when you click on a post and a brief read becomes memorable because it provides a new perspective.  The document I read is a brief read and is a take-away from a Nonviolent Leadership for Social Justice Retreat, written by Shameless Heart Coach, Marina Smerling.

Very simply, we are reminded to look into ourselves first.  Pay attention to what emotions are bubbling up in you when a trigger of words are spoken.  You begin the conversation because you know yourself very well.  And yet, an unconscious bias is trying to take hold in you while you want to control your reaction to the trigger of words.  A practice of not helping someone who didn’t ask for help may be the key to handle a trigger of words.  The issue is not the trigger itself, it is how are you handling yourself in the situation.  What are YOU paying attention to within yourself.

A perspective of how to handle yourself is to reach out as an ally.  As an ally you take away the “rank and privilege” connotation.  “I am your ally” is welcoming and creates a space that answers the question, “Why are your here?”

The photo above depicts a cultural practice of an Easter Tree.  What? you might say. Why would someone want to do that?  Perhaps it is another opportunity to understand the diversity in our community that believes the Easter Eggs represent new beginnings.  New beginnings is a universal concept that each of the member Coaches of the LinkedIn Group: Coaches for Equality and Diversity (CED) represent to foster understanding of these issues and its dynamics to the world at large.

 So what new beginnings during this Spring Season are you contemplating, as you Choose Who You Want to be Known As?   Whatever holiday you practice during the 2016 Spring Season, have a Happy Holiday!

“Jo Ann” M. Radja

Martha Lasley, Co-Founder of Leadership That Works, posted in the CED Group Marina Smerling’s document; written permission to share it with you was  given by Coach Smerling via Coach Lasley: http://www.leadershipthatworks.com/documentFiles/665.pdf

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What’s Your 2016 Spring Surprise?

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spring-1256806_640Spirit is an invisible force made visible in all life.  Maya Angelou

It happens often, you change for one reason or another. People you knew a number of years back are unable to accept the change. Apparently you surprised someone because of your development growth. What kept you together in a circle no longer applies It could be as simple as you no longer enjoy eating a certain food, or you lived in the same neighborhood and moved away, or you received a promotion that the other person wanted. Your Spring Surprise happens and you want to move forward.

Alternatively, you may be on the cusp of a change – in the process of transition. Your challenge is to assist someone to accept the transition in your career. Using the emotional intelligence matrix of. . .

observing,

describing,

accepting,

not taking it personally, and

not judging the other person. . . is one strategy to consider. Choosing Who Do You Want to be Known As during the transition process is your personal responsibility that you do not take likely. 

This weekend as the Spring Equinox greets us, very best wishes for YOUR Spring Surprise. . .

So, I

Persevered.

Resilience paid off.

It’s the first day of Spring and

Not too late to

Give back to those who were kind to me.

Doubts tried to creep into my mind for a while this past winter.

And were swept away.

Yearnings will come true as you focus on

what’s important to you. ©Jo Ann M. Radja*

 

“Jo Ann” M. Radja, Executive and Career Management Coach

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* This anagram was first published by me on March 20, 2015 via LinkedIn.com/Pulse

 

 

What’s a Monday to YOU?

BHbtFLqCIAARfj0040913 ExcerptFromCoach Jo Ann's blog post Monday

We’ve enjoyed the holidays and are back at what we love to do best to earn a living.  The above design quote was originally published by me in April of 2013, at this site: careermanagementcoaching.me.   I hope you give your best to your career this year as we begin the first week of January 2016!

“Jo Ann” M. Radja, Executive and Career Management Coach

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What’s rolling into your Year of 2016?

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The following anagram was published today via LinkedIn Pulse at http://www.linkedin.com/pulse/whats-rolling-from-2015-your-year-2016-jo-ann-m-radja:

H opes we had occasionally came true.

A nd we still pursued and pressed forward.

P erseverance may pay off as

P erhaps 2016 may be the

Y ear we vision it will be.

Y et, it still remains our choice to

E mbrace the negative

A nd

R eframe our hopes, targets and expectations into the year 2016!©Jo Ann M Radja

As you Choose Who You Want to be Known As have the best year ever in 2016!

“Jo Ann” M. Radja, Executive and Career Management Coach

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Monday Musing – 16 days into November 2015

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no_barriersBINGsearchforcontinuityimaes111615 Continuity in everything is unpleasant.  Cold is agreeable, that we may get warm.  Pascal

 

New words that describe continuity, words we might want to use and one word with 12 meanings are the subject matters of the following three recently posted articles on different aspects of continuity in today’s workplace.

 

http://www.inc.com/minda-zetlin/38-convincing-words-and-phrases-to-adopt-immediately-.html

 

http://www.inc.com/geoffrey-james/12-reasons-to-hire-employees-who-make-mistakes.html

Have a great week in your careers!

“Jo Ann” M. Radja, Executive & Career Management Coach

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When YOU least expect it…

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barn-owlfromBING101915What I must do is all that concerns me, not what the people think.  This rule, equally arduous in actual and intelligent life, may serve for the whole distinction between greatness and meanness.  Ralph Waldo Emerson

It continues to give me pause of the biases people have, based either on age or appearance.  Each generation often greets another generation with surprise, rather than acceptance of what knowledge/skills they have.  I experienced this phenomenon again yesterday when a person couldn’t believe that I passed an exam, because her unconscious bias placed the biggest look of surprise on her face I haven’t seen in a long time.

Positive outcomes during the day often balance the negativity we may experience.  It is a work in process to learn how not to take certain actions personally or become judgmental of what may be said.  The daily balancing of our soft skills is the platform for managing ourselves and others in our career path.

Surprising ourselves with what is curious could be a mantra that leads us to self-development.  As you Choose Who You Want to be Known As this week, when you least expect to — have fun practicing the element of surprise of a curious situation.

Enjoy your day!

“Jo Ann” M. Radja, Executive and Career Management Coach

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Impossible fun . . . with curiosity

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th6NJHG7XZMickeyMouseclipartBING092515It’s kind of fun to do the impossible.   Curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.  Walt Disney

Earlier today I published a post on LinkedIn Pulse with the Title of The Three R’s.  http://www.linkedin.com/pulse/article/three-rs-jo-ann-m-radja.  Here is a modified version of that post.

A man in a creative job had been working on a new project. He submits it to the client and a discussion ensues. Even though the project was deemed unacceptable for the marketplace, he believed the discussion was fair. It was such a shock and a setback to subsequently learn his staff was hired away from him (except one man) by the company who deemed his work was out-of-fashion. This story occurred sometime during the 1920’s.  Whether it is a myth or a restatement of history, unfortunately, this story rings true for many people.
The terms of reinvent, re-engineered, retooled or right-sized were not spoken in this creative man’s era; his story has universality for us today, some 90 years later.  What Walt Disney did with his one employee was to collaborate and re-work his original drawings. Mickey Mouse was then born and introduced to the community. Many of the action terms we use today – customer driven, vision and focus, brain-storming new ideas and visualizing real-world activities for the new character – took place in the development and implementation of the Mickey Mouse character.

How quickly do you rebound from a serious let-down? What did you tell yourself to regroup and continue on? Did you re-frame the situation or just recognized perhaps the timing was all wrong? Stating these questions another way: What feedback did you receive that continued the spark in you to recognize, relate and resolve your actions to the next step? How frequently do you rely on YOUR three R’s As You Choose Who You Want to be Known As?

During the month of October, I hope your three R’s work to your best advantage as you recognize, relate and resolve.

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“Jo Ann” M. Radja Executive and Career Management Coach

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LINING Your Portfolio . . .

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I do not pretend to start with precise questions.  I do not think you can start anything precise.  You have to achieve such precision as you can, as you go along. Betand Russell

I’m not sure when it exactly happened; I think it started with my first photography course at college.  Lines fascinate me, perhaps because what they represent in your mind becomes a design that you live with in your life and your career. As we approach the end of the month of August, another opportunity presents itself to create, enhance or begin a new line, lined or lining in your career.

Earlier today, I published another version of this theme as a LinkedIn Publisher at: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/lines-lined-lining-jo-ann-m-radja.  Here is a copy of the text for your review:

“It’s somewhat rare that we do  not find a line running through our careers.  When our career began we had straight lines between a resume + interview + job offer.  Within a year or so our performance may have warranted  a testimonial or recommendation.  Our performance lined a file and formed a lining within our portfolio.

Today, many of us have accepted we move though our careers via a step line of asking many questions.  How are we able to >>>>>?     How can I modify my >>>>> to achieve >>>>>?       What do I have to do to complete >>>>>?  What are the expectations for this assignment and how will my performance be measured?   What questioning gives us are steps to embrace whatever perceived or real negative may lie before us.  More importantly, we exercise whatever control we have to accept and choose a line of action. 

We are presented with options and possibilities as we approach the last four months of  2015.  As you choose Who You Want to be Known As, what questions will you ask yourself to continue lining your portfolio?  Enjoy your 4th quarter of 2015!

“Jo Ann” M. Radja, Executive and Career Management Coach'”

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