Do YOU have an Elephant in the Room?

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When the light around you lessens / And your thoughts darken /. . . Search yourself and see / That it is your own thinking / that darkens your world.   John O’Donohue

Earlier this afternoon, the following post was published under the title, “What’s YOUR Elephant in the Room?” https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/whats-your-elephant-room-jo-ann-m-radja    Here’s a copy for your reading:

“I just finished reading another LinkedIn Post about the paradox of innovation; namely, termination due to computer innovation. It took courage for an innovation expert who advises companies about innovation to share his personal story of how and why it came to be that his company fired staff. Yet, that ELEPHANT in the room idiom, had to be handled in a manner considering the employee’s best interest.

When we think about the idiom phrase of handling “the ELEPHANT in the room,” it usually refers to a subject matter that no one wants to discuss. Our brain perceives the conflict greater than it may be, represented by a large insurmountable figure.

Business Leaders accept the fact that the challenge of an ELEPHANT in the room must be dealt with. It is a conflict. Sometimes all that needs to be done is to have a conversation and the ELEPHANT is no longer in the room. Neuroscience, however, has offered a remarkable perspective, using an analogy of a Rider and an Elephant. The perspective is given by a Massachusetts Institute of Technology Neuroscientist, Mr. Emile Bruneau.

Bruneau explains the analogy as an example of how the brain handles conflict by stating – all the Rider can do is to train the Elephant because the Elephant is more powerful that the Rider. The Rider cannot control or fully understand the Elephant. While this story is recited in a Post by the United States Institute of Peace in an effort to teach people how to deal with conflict. I believe it speaks volumes for the business actions we are involved with. A tool is introduced to deal with conflict, “universal empathy.” http://www.usip.org/olivebranch/2016/05/05/dalai-lama-offers-hope-youth-leaders-and-vice-versa?utm_source=newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_term=event&utm_campaign=events_weekly

We know we cannot control another individual. Since we do not understand the perspective of the individual, represented by the Elephant idiom, we need to ask open-ended questions so that a two-sided conversation takes place. The How of this neuroscience perspective is to approach an Elephant in the room, with universal empathy. Questions such as, “How would you describe. . .” “What did you think would happen if . . .? “What did you expect would happen. . .”

What’s remarkable is that neuroscience now helps to explain the issue of how the ELEPHANT in the room, comes to be – in the first place. The ELEPHANT is an idiom character representing conflict, triggered by an unconscious bias. The tool — new phrase of “universal empathy” becomes a positive application to use with the conflict idiom.

The term “universal empathy” may become mainstream because it is an inclusive term. We want and do take the first step in handling a conflict. As we begin to practice the use of universal empathy – when we access our own Pause button – perhaps we can alleviate the ELEPHANT idiom character showing up. It’s another way of handling ourselves and Choosing Who We Want to be Known As in our chosen career. Have a great week!

“Jo Ann” M. Radja, Executive and Career Management Coach”

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What is it Right, Wrong or Gossip?

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Out of some little thing, too free a tongue /  Can make an outrageous wrangle  Euripides

We sometimes forget that mistakes people make – are nonsensical.  Here’s an example.  Last Saturday I brought down to the loading dock of the building where I live three bags of paper; a worker from the shredding company was waiting for the paper to load onto his truck.  The bags were inside a wheeled, carry-all cooler that I use to cart around groceries and other items for my convenience.   The worker took each bag out individually and when he looked down at the bottom of the carry all, he saw some items he decided were garbage.  Which they weren’t.  He didn’t say anything to me about these items, he did say something to someone else.

My apartment stored a vacuum cleaner which was broken and could not be repaired. I left the loading dock area and went back to my apartment to retrieve it.  Another tenant saw me wheeling the vacuum cleaner, that I placed in the carry-all cooler toward the building recycling area; he offered help; he explained the vacuum cleaner had to be placed in a dumpster, not the recycling area because it had a plastic exterior cover.  He wheeled the vacuum cleaner to the dumpster (which I didn’t know existed), lifted up the carry-all cooler that held the vacuum cleaner and hoisted it over the top of the dumpster is a few seconds.  As I quickly said, “What are you doing? the carry-all cooler wasn’t even 2 years old; it is not garbage.”  “Oh, yes it is, the man replied.  The man outside (the shredding company worker) said your carry-all cooler carried garbage!”  Huh!  Needless to say, my wheeled carry-all cooler was removed from the dumpster, wiped clean, and is available for my use again.  Gossip has a life of its own and spreads more quickly than the truth.

IMG-20160425-00816It’s important to remember, whatever is left for pickup anywhere outside, it is available for anyone to look through and use. Happily, no garbage was in my carry-all cooler and the misconception was corrected.   No matter what your career path may be, let’s hope the perceptions we hold about someone else are based on reliable facts.  As you Choose Who You Want to be Known As this week, enjoy a gossip-free day!

Mindfulness also is a platform that may be utilized when faced with the example I have shared with you:  Observe, Describe, Accept, Don’t take it Personally and be Non-Judgmental.  Again, enjoy your week!

“Jo Ann” M. Radja, Executive and Career Management Coach

 

 

 

A Common Place Term: Bystander

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diffusion-responsibility-bystander-effect-illustration-crowd-witness-act-crime-doing-nothing-47422863It’s in the news recently, the term Bystander Effect or Bystander Action.  It’s the principle – when in a group of people, personal responsibility to assist/help someone is mostly not recognized.  Last week on March 30th,  the following post was published on Linkedin.com/Pulse on this subject:  https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/its-catching-now-understanding-jo-ann-m-radja

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The issues of Bystander Actions are present in our society at all levels.  Vice President Joe Biden has been involved in a Bystander action prevention program to discourage violence on college campuses and is planning to visit Pittsburg, PA today: http://www.post-gazette.com/local/city/2016/04/05/Vice-President-Joe-Biden-in-Pittsburgh-today-for-It-s-On-Us-campaign/stories/201604050156  and the photo, to the left, is from the website:  www.lookfordiagnosis.com/mesh_info.php?term=Bystander+Effect&lang=1

Since WordPress.com represents the spirit of collegiality, I would like to share with you my September, 2015 presentation notes on Bystander Actors in the workplace.  It was prepared for a specific industry and is easily updated to fit any industry.  Included within the presentation are insights of Professor Mary Rowe from MIT, Senior Advisor – Compliance Strategist and Attorney, Joe Murphy, and Margaret Heffernan, Author of: Why We Ignore the Obvious to Our Peril, Willful Blindness.

As you Choose Who You Want to be Known As, have a great work week!

“Jo Ann” M. Radja, Executive and Career Management Coach

Notes: Understanding Bystander Actions by Jo Ann M. Radja with Insights from Dr. Mary Rowe Ph.D September, 2015

Scenarios attachment   and  Bibliography and Resources

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Culture Diversity Awareness Perspective

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Be forceful with yourself, learn to integrate the negative, harnessing its force to cross the boundaries that would confine you.  John O’Donohue

Earlier today I published the following post: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/article/weekend-cultural-perspective-jo-ann-m-radja for your weekend reading. . . thPZBEH363 Easter Tree Egg BING 032416

“Most of us read daily – reports, emails, online newspapers, LinkedIn posts, etc. A Spring surprise occurs when you click on a post and a brief read becomes memorable because it provides a new perspective.  The document I read is a brief read and is a take-away from a Nonviolent Leadership for Social Justice Retreat, written by Shameless Heart Coach, Marina Smerling.

Very simply, we are reminded to look into ourselves first.  Pay attention to what emotions are bubbling up in you when a trigger of words are spoken.  You begin the conversation because you know yourself very well.  And yet, an unconscious bias is trying to take hold in you while you want to control your reaction to the trigger of words.  A practice of not helping someone who didn’t ask for help may be the key to handle a trigger of words.  The issue is not the trigger itself, it is how are you handling yourself in the situation.  What are YOU paying attention to within yourself.

A perspective of how to handle yourself is to reach out as an ally.  As an ally you take away the “rank and privilege” connotation.  “I am your ally” is welcoming and creates a space that answers the question, “Why are your here?”

The photo above depicts a cultural practice of an Easter Tree.  What? you might say. Why would someone want to do that?  Perhaps it is another opportunity to understand the diversity in our community that believes the Easter Eggs represent new beginnings.  New beginnings is a universal concept that each of the member Coaches of the LinkedIn Group: Coaches for Equality and Diversity (CED) represent to foster understanding of these issues and its dynamics to the world at large.

 So what new beginnings during this Spring Season are you contemplating, as you Choose Who You Want to be Known As?   Whatever holiday you practice during the 2016 Spring Season, have a Happy Holiday!

“Jo Ann” M. Radja

Martha Lasley, Co-Founder of Leadership That Works, posted in the CED Group Marina Smerling’s document; written permission to share it with you was  given by Coach Smerling via Coach Lasley: http://www.leadershipthatworks.com/documentFiles/665.pdf

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Valentine Day Week Thoughts…

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Culture-Word-CloudfromBING100214Originally published on 02-10-13………

Valentine Week Thoughts. . .

After a lengthy meeting, we

Listen to comments from our Team,

Eager to put everything into perspective.

Now another opportunity presented itself

To try a different approach.

It’s what we wanted. Yet,

Now that it’s an agreed plan by all,

Everyone wants another meeting in an hour to
confirm the plan in writing.

Decisions are made daily.

And we learn to trust ourselves and others. . .

You too may learn to trust yourself and others as you
Choose Who You Want to be Known As this week.

Happy Valentine Week Thoughts! ©Jo Ann M. Radja

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Super Bowl Sunday 2016 – What’s your Role? Fan or ….

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sbowls2SuperBowlSundayclipartBING020516This afternoon, the following Post first appeared under my name at LinkedIn.com/Pulse:

This morning I heard a Professor from Yale University say  the Super Bowl in America is a “National Holiday.”  We look forward to it, it is a communal event, we plan for it, special food is cooked, eaten and savored; the entertainment on the field and at half-time becomes memorable for years to come.   We cheer, we frown, we raise our voices out loud and thoroughly have a good time.  So to all the professional football players who earned the right to play this Sunday and all the people in a multitude of positions that will work this Sunday so that the event is produced and safety is paramount, here’s the  lighter side of Super Bowl Sunday…

“Speed, strength, and the inability to register pain immediately. ~Reggie Williams, when asked his greatest strengths as a football player.”

“Imagine, thirty years from now people will be talking about that Super Bowl or this Super Bowl. I mean, if people thirty years from now even know what football is. ~Robert John Kuechenberg, 1983”

“…trying to maintain order during a legalized gang brawl involving 80 toughs with a little whistle, a hanky and a ton of prayer. ~A veteran NFL referee describing his duties, quoted in Richard Saul Wurman, American Football: TV Viewers Guide, 1982”

“At the base of it was the urge, if you wanted to play football, to knock someone down, that was what the sport was all about, the will to win closely linked with contact. ~George Plimpton, Paper Lion: Confessions of a Last-String Quarterback, 1965”

“Football combines the two worst things about America: it is violence punctuated by committee meetings. ~George F. Will”

“The televising of football right now is just off the charts, it’s so phenomenal between HD and cable cam and all the rest. I was just sitting in my living room the other day watching those two games and you’re there. You’re right there. You’re in the game and the sound is great. It’s phenomenal. It’s the essence of live television. It’s unscripted and beautifully choreographed. The technology is terrific. If you’re in this business, there’s no better day than this. ~Al Michaels, NBC Sports press conference, Super Bowl XLIII (2009)”

“[T]he Super Bowl, the quintessential American creation. A dizzying mélange of brilliant entrepreneurship in an atmosphere of intense competition. It is the perfect show for the most intensely competitive culture in this solar system. ~Robert Klein, “America’s Pastime: Selling the Big Game,” 1990 January 28th, The New York Times (Super Bowl XXIV)”

“It’s ridiculous for a country to get all worked up about a game—except the Super Bowl, of course. Now that’s important. ~Andy Rooney, “Baseball haters—but good sports,” 1984 October 1st, Chicago Tribune.

Above Quotations are found at: http://www.quotegarden.com/super-bowl.html

Whatever role you will be playing this Sunday, Choose Who You Want to be Known As. Enjoy?

“Jo Ann” M. Radja

 

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December Musings for YOU…

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Merry Christmas everyone and Happy Holidays.  The above photo was shot last evening of the Prudential Building, here in Chicago, across from Millenium  Park.

This is the search result for John Lennon and Yoko Ono’s “So This is Christmas…”

John Lennon – Happy Xmas (War Is Over) – YouTube

Released: 1972

Lyrics: So this is Christmas, and what have you done / Another year over, a new one just begun / And so this is Christmas, I hope you have fun / The near and the dear ones, the old and the young… Full lyrics on Google Play
 ————–

Last week I published a Post on LinkedIn Pulse and Twitter.  Here is the link: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/jingle-all-way-jo-ann-m-radja

https://twitter.com/Coach_Jo_Ann/status/677295234523529216

However you celebrate the December holidays, please Choose Who You Want to be Known As during the festivities.

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“Jo Ann” M. Radja, Executive and Career Management Coach

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Monday Musing – 16 days into November 2015

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no_barriersBINGsearchforcontinuityimaes111615 Continuity in everything is unpleasant.  Cold is agreeable, that we may get warm.  Pascal

 

New words that describe continuity, words we might want to use and one word with 12 meanings are the subject matters of the following three recently posted articles on different aspects of continuity in today’s workplace.

 

http://www.inc.com/minda-zetlin/38-convincing-words-and-phrases-to-adopt-immediately-.html

 

http://www.inc.com/geoffrey-james/12-reasons-to-hire-employees-who-make-mistakes.html

Have a great week in your careers!

“Jo Ann” M. Radja, Executive & Career Management Coach

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4th Day of Ethics and Compliance Week 2015

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Even when there is no law, there is conscience. Publilius Syrus It’s Ethics and Compliance Week and I would like to share with you two anagrams for you to consider. Have a great week! E nvy crept into the conversation … Continue reading

When YOU least expect it…

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barn-owlfromBING101915What I must do is all that concerns me, not what the people think.  This rule, equally arduous in actual and intelligent life, may serve for the whole distinction between greatness and meanness.  Ralph Waldo Emerson

It continues to give me pause of the biases people have, based either on age or appearance.  Each generation often greets another generation with surprise, rather than acceptance of what knowledge/skills they have.  I experienced this phenomenon again yesterday when a person couldn’t believe that I passed an exam, because her unconscious bias placed the biggest look of surprise on her face I haven’t seen in a long time.

Positive outcomes during the day often balance the negativity we may experience.  It is a work in process to learn how not to take certain actions personally or become judgmental of what may be said.  The daily balancing of our soft skills is the platform for managing ourselves and others in our career path.

Surprising ourselves with what is curious could be a mantra that leads us to self-development.  As you Choose Who You Want to be Known As this week, when you least expect to — have fun practicing the element of surprise of a curious situation.

Enjoy your day!

“Jo Ann” M. Radja, Executive and Career Management Coach

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