Over the past week, a number of strangers offered comments that were unsolicited. Although I was in a business setting, I heard, “The blouse is new, the shoes look clean but the jacket is outdated.” “Your name really is this ______, not what you are calling yourself!” and finally, because I had small drops of moisture on my glasses and wanted to take the drops off, “You shouldn’t be cleaning your glasses, you should be speaking to the people other there!” Perhaps these comments belong to the new phrase “organizational rudeness.” As a Professional, you learn to listen to and not immediately respond to words so as not to take the words personally. What causes you not to “take it too personally”?
A man may cry out in pain and may blame everyone around him in a hospital, and the staff doesn’t take it personally. A woman giving birth may cry out against her pain, and the staff doesn’t take it personally. What causes us to not take anything personally?
I am reminded of the philosophy of Miguel Ruiz who offers that it belongs to the person speaking in anger, to be angry. It belongs to the person speaking rudely, to be rude. It belongs to the person who is out of line, to be out of line.
Mistakes happen and most are true accidents of time, of attention, of nature, of unforeseen events. It’s how we behave when an accident occurs that drives a conversation or event.
While attending a conference recently, one of the event coordinators laid long fabric I.D. holders on the welcome table. I placed one around my neck and fastened it to the Name Badge. Within minutes it become clear something was wrong and I didn’t feel well. My eyes were burning and I knew I was exposed to an allergen, perhaps on the I.D. holder? I returned the I.D. holder and the Coordinator knew by looking at my face what was wrong. I didn’t ask for, yet She sincerely apologized and we went on our separate ways. No discussion took place, nothing was taken personally, we just went about our day.
“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”* I do believe this phrase needs a bit brushing off, so it can gain popularity again. What do you think as you choose Who You Want To Be Known As? Enjoy your week!
“Jo Ann” M. Radja, Career Management Coach & Change Agent May 2, 2012
*The Christian Recorder in 1862 suggested the Sticks and Stones phrase really represents courage –“True courage is doing what is right, despite the jeers and sneers of our companions.”
Haven’t you heard this phrase? The fashion industry reinvents fashion trends every 40 years or so. An example of this is a scarf my grandmother owned and a slender neck scarf I wore in the late 1980’s. They have the same color schemes, yet the design, form and function is different.
There are many management organizations which are still in business, e.g. Peter F. Drucker Institute, Zig Ziglar, Dale Carnegie Training, and the Grateful Dead Band. The primary message each of these companies express is still relevant in our global communities. The implementation of their messages probably wasn’t even considered when they were developed; yet practical applications currently abound in our workplace and are reapplied to fit within our lives.
There is much discussion, within conventional wisdom today, about four generations of employees working together. What works, what doesn’t work and why. Where does the responsibility lie for a better understanding among each of these four generations as to how they work and live together? We’ve heard the phrases: “They’re so old…they’re so young…I do things differently…they don’t understand.”
If we can start with ourselves and consider what triggers us to be comfortable within a different age group, it may lead to a better understanding. What do we want someone older or younger than we are, to know about us? All of us have been in this situation. How do we want to be spoken to, and why – perhaps that’s the first step in choosing How We Want to Be Known As in our multi-generational world. Have a great week!
Jo Ann M. Radja, Career Management Coach & Change Agent 0426/12
Last Friday, I attended a business presentation one-half block away from Chicago’s famous Lake Shore Drive. Not only was the temperature in the high 40’s, the wind was everywhere. The wind pushed me forward; it made me push against it, while I walked the final block to the meeting. When I walked across the street, the wind pushed my hair upwards! I felt like I floated into the building once I pushed through the revolving entrance.
We’ve all heard the phrase of “being up against it.” It usually means getting something done in a short period of time. So how do you “push” through whatever makes you feel you’re “up against it”? What pressure do you feel when you are “pushing” to get something done? What trigger points come into play while you are “pushing” to get it done?
The easy part is knowing you do have a deadline. Many people thrive while “pushing against it”, but certainly not all. During this last week of April, Spring continues to “push through” it’s seasonal cycle. While you are “pushing up against it” this week, Choose Who You Want to Be Known As. Enjoy your week!
“Jo Ann” M. Radja, Career Management Coach & Change Agent 04/23/12
Yesterday, I came across a misplaced copy of an article I was considering writing about. The subject matter is: organizational silence*. This phrase simply means not just speaking up when you know something is wrong. It means continuing to work knowing you have no apparent options and hoping you are wrong.
It takes practice to know if something is amiss. Why? Our perceptions may not be based on fact. We may not work in an environment where it’s okay to bring up serious concerns. Many people have learned to “go along to get along.” Or, have you learned to only tell your boss what he/she wants to hear?
So my questions for you this week are: How do YOU want to be told that a serious problem exists? Do YOU want to hear the “short version” or the “long version”? How do YOU know that something sounds true or not? Placing yourself in the position of someone else may open up a perspective to help you learn more about YOU.
Organizational silence really exists in many forms, so Choose Who You Want To Be Known As. Enjoy your week.
Jo Ann M. Radja, Career Management Coach & Change Agent 04/16/12
* Hefferman, Margaret. July 5, 2011. “A Corporate Epidemic: See No Evil, Hear No Evil Workers.” http://www.bnet.com/blog Retrieved July 21, 2011.
As I was approaching a friend’s driveway, I noticed a young dog standing on three legs, by the side of the road next to my friend’s fence. Perhaps the dog was standing in a yoga pose, with one leg bent upwards. It was a first time for me to see a dog that way.
After I parked my car in the driveway, I looked at the dog, some 20 yards away. The dog saw me and started to walk over, on four legs! The dog started to walk around my car and smiled. Another car approached. The driver rolled down her window, as did I, and we spoke. She said she also saw the dog standing on three legs; she thought it was a lame lost dog, so she doubled back to check it out. (What I didn’t know at the time was that the dog was a pit bull.)
The other driver had a spare leash in her car, which she fastened to the dog’s neck. The dog seemed eager to come up to me and the woman driver couldn’t believe the dog did not belong to me. The other driver was becoming insistent that I knew the dog and that the dog lived at the home I was about to visit. Finally, the other driver offered and agreed to drop the dog off at a neighborhood shelter and we said our goodbyes.
I later wondered how often we see something and are not sure what to make of it. What do we do? How do we handle the situation? What do our senses tell us? Is our intuition working for us that day?
As we begin our week, how can we address a situation that may seem odd or uncomfortable – with a different approach. Is our judgment taking over a situation instead of our being more aware, and keeping an open mind? Whatever your choose, it will be Who You Want To Be Known As. Have a great week!
Jo Ann M. Radja, Career Management Coach & Change Agent April 9, 2012
Isn’t it humbling and also wonderful to be told you had done well. It came out of the blue for me recently.
So how are you motivated to do well? What steps have you taken or considered to take to let your boss know what you need to succeed?
Since we are beginning to move through the month of April – the new beginnings of Spring are all around us. What new beginnings will you think about this week to keep your motivation on track or increase? What conversations will you have with your team members to learn more about what motivates them? How will these different perspectives work into what you need to do well and be motivated?
We really don’t have to wait for a reason. The month of April will motivate us daily to think about new beginnings and Who We Want To Be Known As. Enjoy!
Jo Ann M. Radja, Career Management Coach & Change Agent 04/02/12
“Most of the time, you can’t go home. In my case, you can go home.” Lionel Richie
I heard this phrase spoken by Lionel Richie recently as he was interviewed about his new business venture with country music stars. It was quite sometime since I listened to someone utter those words, and I thought – what do we bring from our “homes” to the workplace?
When we think about “home”, do we mean our upbringing home, or where we live now, or a place in our life that “felt like home”? Were you the first-born or the last-born child? Were you the compromiser, middle child? Did you have a small family, a large family or no family?
Whatever your sense of “home” may be, what positive values do you bring to the work place from your feelings of “home”? What impact, if any, does your sense of home have for you today, in what you presently do? Since your life experiences have led you to where you are today, I wish you a good week in all your actions of Who You Want To Be Known As.
Jo Ann M. Radja, Career Management Coach & Change Agent 03/25/12
How often during your career did you learn your impression of someone is not correct? What did you do about it, if anything?
We all go through this process of deciding whether someone is a “good match”. People within a large organization have the advantage of tapping into the company’s best practices for solutions.
Over a year ago, I spoke to someone who was working through the decision thought process of what type of employee he wanted in his company. So he started with himself. What type of behaviors did he work well with? What values did he hold in his life? Were these the same values he wanted to see in his employees? And why? Taking the time for self-reflection is a very big first step. It surely is a necessary one in deciding Who You Want To Be Known As. Have a great week.
Jo Ann M. Radja, Career Management Coach & Change Agent
March 12, 2012
Career Management Coaching 