Category Archives: Millenials

It Depends…

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What is your answer?  It depends.

Most people become put off by hearing the words, “it depends.”  Is it because we expect an answer immediately? Or, were we not prepared to hear, “it depends”.

Whatever your internal monitor is today as you react to the phrase, “it depends,” consider what your expectations are.  Why do you want someone to be influenced by what you said?  Why are you expecting someone to trust what you said?  Why do you want someone to rely on what you said?  These three questions relate to definitions of the word, depend – to rely upon, to trust, to be influenced by.

A remaining definition of the word depend,  “refers to a determination of something else.”  Our internal reaction monitor may not have been aware of this last definition of the word depends.  In other words, the response, “I can answer your question by asking another question” is okay and not intended to put someone off because an answer may be dependent on “a determination of something else.”

As you listen to responses from people this week, consider How Do You Want to be Known As you ask a question.  Have a great week!

“Jo Ann” M. Radja, Career Management Coach & Change Agent

Ethics to YOU Too! tmpending [Blog #3]

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Ethics to YOU too! TMpending [Blog #2]

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Ethics to You Too! [tm pending] [Blog#1]

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SCCEblog#1™©

Courage or Not Taking It Personally

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Over the past week, a number of strangers offered comments that were unsolicited. Although I was in a business setting,  I heard, “The blouse is new, the shoes look clean but the jacket is outdated.”  “Your name really is this  ______,  not what you are calling yourself!”  and finally, because I had small drops of moisture on my glasses and wanted to take the drops off,  “You shouldn’t be cleaning your glasses, you should be speaking to the people other there!”    Perhaps these comments belong to the new phrase “organizational rudeness.”   As a Professional, you learn to listen to and not immediately respond to words so as not to take the words personally.   What causes you not to “take it too personally”?

A man may cry out in pain and may blame everyone around him in a hospital, and the staff doesn’t take it personally.  A woman giving birth may cry out against her pain, and the staff doesn’t take it personally.    What causes us to not take anything personally?

I am reminded of the philosophy of Miguel Ruiz who offers that it belongs to the person speaking in anger, to be angry.  It belongs to the person speaking rudely, to be rude.  It belongs to the person who is out of line, to be out of line.

Mistakes happen and most are true accidents of time, of attention, of nature, of unforeseen events.  It’s how we behave when an accident occurs that drives a conversation or event.

While attending a conference recently, one of the event coordinators laid long fabric I.D. holders on the welcome table.  I placed one around my neck and fastened it to the Name Badge.  Within minutes it become clear something was wrong and I didn’t feel well.  My eyes were burning and I knew I was exposed to an allergen, perhaps on the I.D. holder?  I returned the I.D. holder and the Coordinator knew by looking at my face what was wrong.   I didn’t ask for, yet She sincerely apologized and we went on our separate ways.  No discussion took place, nothing was taken personally, we just went about our day.

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”*  I do believe this phrase needs a bit brushing off, so it can gain popularity again.  What do you think as you choose Who You Want To Be Known As?  Enjoy your week!

“Jo Ann” M. Radja, Career Management Coach & Change Agent May 2, 2012

*The Christian Recorder in 1862 suggested the Sticks and Stones phrase really represents courage –“True courage is doing what is right, despite the jeers and sneers of our companions.”

What’s Old is New Again!

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Haven’t you heard this phrase?  The fashion industry reinvents fashion trends every 40 years or so.  An example of this is a scarf my grandmother owned and a slender neck scarf I wore in the late 1980’s.  They have the same color schemes, yet the design, form and function is different.

There are many management organizations which are still in business, e.g. Peter F. Drucker Institute, Zig Ziglar, Dale Carnegie Training, and the Grateful Dead Band.  The primary message each of these companies express is still relevant in our global communities.  The implementation of their messages probably wasn’t even considered when they were developed; yet practical applications currently abound in our workplace and are reapplied to fit within our lives.

There is much discussion, within conventional wisdom today, about four generations of employees working together.  What works, what doesn’t work and why.  Where does the responsibility lie for a better understanding among each of these four generations as to how they work and live together?  We’ve heard the phrases:  “They’re so old…they’re so young…I do things differently…they don’t understand.”

If we can start with ourselves and consider what triggers us to be comfortable within a different age group, it may lead to a better understanding.  What do we want someone older or younger than we are, to know about us?  All of us have been in this situation.  How do we want to be spoken to, and why – perhaps that’s the first step in choosing How We Want to Be Known As in our multi-generational world.  Have a great week!

Jo Ann M. Radja, Career Management Coach & Change Agent 0426/12

Going Home?

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“Most of the time, you can’t go home.  In my case, you can go home.”   Lionel Richie

I heard this phrase spoken by Lionel Richie recently as he was interviewed about his new business venture with country music stars.  It was quite sometime since I listened to someone utter those words, and I thought – what do we bring from our “homes” to the workplace?

When we think about “home”, do we mean our upbringing home, or where we live now, or a place in our life that “felt like home”? Were you the first-born or the last-born child? Were you the compromiser, middle child? Did you have a small family, a large family or no family?

Whatever your sense of “home” may be, what positive values do you bring to the work place from your feelings of “home”?  What impact, if any, does your sense of home have for you today, in what you presently do?  Since your life experiences have led you to where you are today, I wish you a good week in all your actions of Who You Want To Be Known As.

Jo Ann M. Radja, Career Management Coach & Change Agent 03/25/12

Impressions Of You. . .

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How often during your career did you learn your impression of someone is not correct?  What did you do about it, if anything?

We all go through this process of deciding whether someone is a “good match”.  People within a large organization have the advantage of tapping into the company’s best practices for solutions.

Over a year ago, I spoke to someone who was working through the decision thought process of what type of employee he wanted in his company.  So he started with himself.  What type of behaviors did he work well with?  What values did he hold in his life?  Were these the same values he wanted to see in his employees? And why?  Taking the time for self-reflection is a very big first step.  It surely is a necessary one in deciding Who You Want To Be Known As.   Have a great week.

Jo Ann M. Radja, Career Management Coach & Change Agent

March 12, 2012

Better Days Ahead for You. . .

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A while ago, I caught myself becoming annoyed by a perception of rude behavior.  Have you been in that situation recently?   The second time it happened with this company, I asked the person I was speaking to, if I said something he thought was inappropriate.  The answer was, No.  I did explain to him why I asked the question, in an effort to see if I said something that may have led to the other’s behavior.  He then put me on hold.   What I subsequently learned was that he listened to my prior call, and verified what had happened.  He said I was okay, but was I really?

Reframing is a Coaching concept.  It means to restate the issue in a more favorable light, resulting in positive thoughts.    As you become more aware of how YOU are facing the situation, you are able to move the focus from frustration to – how can I find the answer to move the process along for me because I am responsible for my actions?

Reframing is not necessarily keeping your emotions in check, rather, it is about becoming aware of what’s driving the frustration, at that moment, and how you move out of it.   All of this may take seconds or minutes.  Learning what it takes to move through our emotions during the day is a process.  Yes, a process which takes practice.

Who do you want to be known as…a frustrated person, feeling stuck?

Who do you want to be known as…a proactive person, learning to Reframe an awkward or uncomfortable situation for yourself?  Understanding how choosing a different way to approach a situation, leads to understanding yourself better.  You may surprise yourself so that you will have a better day in whatever you may be doing.   Have a great week!

Jo Ann M. Radja, Career Management Coaching & Change Agent

March 19, 2012

Are you Stretching?

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Are you stretching yourself today in whatever you are involved in?  A few days ago, I was working on a project and noticed color spectrums on my apartment wall coming from a small crystal at my window.  A few of the “rainbows” bounced off another wall or over a wall.  I know this last sentence sounds a bit off, but it did happen.  So how did that happen?  I surely don’t know, although I did try to measure how the light travelled, or bounced off another object.

The picture above this Blog is a color spectrum that shot over 20 feet from the small crystal, when there was no direct line to the bedroom door.

Growing up we learn about “the stretch”.  We were taught to stretch:  when we are learning a new task — when we are stretching to increase a budding talent. How far of “a stretch” is it for you to do something?

Stretching today is all about getting out of your comfort zone.  What can I do today that I didn’t do before or how can I act differently in a situation I’ve been in before.  When you “stretch” you learn about you and Who You Want To Be Known As.    Enjoy your day.

Jo Ann M. Radja, Career Management Coach & Change Agent 02/24/12