Category Archives: Reframing

EGO, EGO[er], EGO[est]

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This past weekend I read a truly forward thinking article on managing your Ego at work.  I would like to share it with you.  It was written by Ms. Christine Latimer*.  Miss Latimer urged that the following ego traits should be left at home:

“The need to be right; A sense of entitlement, or specialness;

Gossip; ‘Yes person’ mentality, not being one’s true self; and

Complaining.”

As a Coach, I believe if any of these traits were left at home, your listening skills would improve; you would practice paying attention to what someone else is saying and, you would allow yourself to be open to other options of thought.

So what really is EGO.  It was an amazing eye-opener to discover Roget’s 21st Century Thesaurus** provide over 75 synonyms of the word EGO.  Here are a few to consider this week. EGO is… courage…worth…conscience…thought…pride…essense…self-esteem…attitude…soul…bent…true being…frame of mind…core…innermost being…tendency…stuff…outlook…disposition…sub-conscious.

During the course of this week, consider if your EGO is directing your actions as you Choose Who You Want to Be Known As.  Enjoy your week!

“Jo Ann” M. Radja, Career Management Coach & Change Agent

* Research Summaries for Business Leaders, August 3, 2012, published by LMK Partners. Retrieved August 5, 2012.
**ego.(n.d.) Roget’s 21st Century Thesaurus, Third Edition. Retrieved August 5, 2012, from Thesaurus.com website: http://thesaurus.com/browse/ego. 

Change At Last…

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I always find it refreshing to meet people who are truly happy who they are.  It’s contagious.  It feels good.  You want to stay in that moment.  How are you defined by your good mood at the office, outside of the office, at home or at weekend events?  How often are you defined by your current role in life first, and then by your mood?  How important is it for you to be remembered as being engaging, or someone who left a good impression because of your good mood?

Here’s a sample talk I developed of how you can explain yourself. You may find that by working through this talk, your mood level will rise and your confidence will show through to other people.

Say what you do:  [Your current role];

Say what they get:  [What value is received, whether to a potential employer, a customer, a client, a team member, a colleague, another volunteer, family member, or student]; and

Say what you give:  [what the take away is for the other person].

This is my talk:

Say what you do:  I coach leaders…

Say what they get:  for their self-driven outcomes…

Say what you give: and I provide empathy, trust and honesty.

As you begin the month of August this week, Choose Who You Want to be Known As when you are in a situation to change your mood to increase your good feeling and confidence.  Have a great week!

“Jo Ann” M. Radja, Career Management Coach & Change Agent

Author:  Ethics to You Too! ™  http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/171791 07/30/2012

A Phone Call…

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How many times have you made a phone call and discovered how you act in a given situation.  Pleasant and good news calls breeze by.  It’s the phone call that leaves you unsettled, releasing any number of emotions you hadn’t planned on.

Managing yourself is a learning process, whether during your childhood, while in school or in formal training at your place of employment.  The theory behind managing yourself can be described as mindfulness.

—– I am mindful when I listen to what is being said and reply about the issue and not the speaker personally.

—- I am mindful when I treat the other person with respect.

—- I am mindful when I pay attention to the emotions the other person is displaying and acknowledge to that person, what you heard.

……….Listen……….Mindful……….In Control

……….Listen……….Mindful……….How can I help YOU?

……….Listen……….Mindful……….Be Who You Want to be Known As!

Have a good and mindful 2nd week of July.

“Jo Ann” M. Radja, Career Management Coach & Change Agent

Author:  Ethics to You Too!™ http://www.smashwords/books/view/171791      07/09/12

Do What You Can…

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We were supposed to be at a better place by now and some of us thought we were.  Turn the page, and Summer’s Heat caused violent storms across the U.S.  Very dark, flat and low cloud formations covered the sky resembling ribs of bevelled glass.

Hundreds of thousands of people now without electricity and water.  Homes again destroyed. Yet the spirit of man found solace, and sometimes humor, in doing what you can to get through the day.  Neighbors with chain saws personally cut through large fallen tree limbs to permit traffic to move though the street.

So many tree limbs fell through roofs of homes, or onto cars, whether parked or in motion.  People were unable to move out of harm’s way.  Then the Sun came out.

So we do what we can do.  We help one another.  We clean up.  We prioritize.  We don’t blame.  We take each step to see solutions.  We move forward.  We learn to do without.  We keep our emotions in check because it is easier to do so when the “worst” is over.  We choose to act the way we Want to be Known As.

Kind thoughts to all who are finding courage within themselves this week.  Your far away neighbors are thinking of you.

“Jo Ann” M. Radja, Career Management Coach & Change Agent. July 2, 2012

Better Days Ahead for You. . .

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A while ago, I caught myself becoming annoyed by a perception of rude behavior.  Have you been in that situation recently?   The second time it happened with this company, I asked the person I was speaking to, if I said something he thought was inappropriate.  The answer was, No.  I did explain to him why I asked the question, in an effort to see if I said something that may have led to the other’s behavior.  He then put me on hold.   What I subsequently learned was that he listened to my prior call, and verified what had happened.  He said I was okay, but was I really?

Reframing is a Coaching concept.  It means to restate the issue in a more favorable light, resulting in positive thoughts.    As you become more aware of how YOU are facing the situation, you are able to move the focus from frustration to – how can I find the answer to move the process along for me because I am responsible for my actions?

Reframing is not necessarily keeping your emotions in check, rather, it is about becoming aware of what’s driving the frustration, at that moment, and how you move out of it.   All of this may take seconds or minutes.  Learning what it takes to move through our emotions during the day is a process.  Yes, a process which takes practice.

Who do you want to be known as…a frustrated person, feeling stuck?

Who do you want to be known as…a proactive person, learning to Reframe an awkward or uncomfortable situation for yourself?  Understanding how choosing a different way to approach a situation, leads to understanding yourself better.  You may surprise yourself so that you will have a better day in whatever you may be doing.   Have a great week!

Jo Ann M. Radja, Career Management Coaching & Change Agent

March 19, 2012