Over the past week, a number of strangers offered comments that were unsolicited. Although I was in a business setting, I heard, “The blouse is new, the shoes look clean but the jacket is outdated.” “Your name really is this ______, not what you are calling yourself!” and finally, because I had small drops of moisture on my glasses and wanted to take the drops off, “You shouldn’t be cleaning your glasses, you should be speaking to the people other there!” Perhaps these comments belong to the new phrase “organizational rudeness.” As a Professional, you learn to listen to and not immediately respond to words so as not to take the words personally. What causes you not to “take it too personally”?
A man may cry out in pain and may blame everyone around him in a hospital, and the staff doesn’t take it personally. A woman giving birth may cry out against her pain, and the staff doesn’t take it personally. What causes us to not take anything personally?
I am reminded of the philosophy of Miguel Ruiz who offers that it belongs to the person speaking in anger, to be angry. It belongs to the person speaking rudely, to be rude. It belongs to the person who is out of line, to be out of line.
Mistakes happen and most are true accidents of time, of attention, of nature, of unforeseen events. It’s how we behave when an accident occurs that drives a conversation or event.
While attending a conference recently, one of the event coordinators laid long fabric I.D. holders on the welcome table. I placed one around my neck and fastened it to the Name Badge. Within minutes it become clear something was wrong and I didn’t feel well. My eyes were burning and I knew I was exposed to an allergen, perhaps on the I.D. holder? I returned the I.D. holder and the Coordinator knew by looking at my face what was wrong. I didn’t ask for, yet She sincerely apologized and we went on our separate ways. No discussion took place, nothing was taken personally, we just went about our day.
“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”* I do believe this phrase needs a bit brushing off, so it can gain popularity again. What do you think as you choose Who You Want To Be Known As? Enjoy your week!
“Jo Ann” M. Radja, Career Management Coach & Change Agent May 2, 2012
*The Christian Recorder in 1862 suggested the Sticks and Stones phrase really represents courage –“True courage is doing what is right, despite the jeers and sneers of our companions.”
Haven’t you heard this phrase? The fashion industry reinvents fashion trends every 40 years or so. An example of this is a scarf my grandmother owned and a slender neck scarf I wore in the late 1980’s. They have the same color schemes, yet the design, form and function is different.
There are many management organizations which are still in business, e.g. Peter F. Drucker Institute, Zig Ziglar, Dale Carnegie Training, and the Grateful Dead Band. The primary message each of these companies express is still relevant in our global communities. The implementation of their messages probably wasn’t even considered when they were developed; yet practical applications currently abound in our workplace and are reapplied to fit within our lives.
There is much discussion, within conventional wisdom today, about four generations of employees working together. What works, what doesn’t work and why. Where does the responsibility lie for a better understanding among each of these four generations as to how they work and live together? We’ve heard the phrases: “They’re so old…they’re so young…I do things differently…they don’t understand.”
If we can start with ourselves and consider what triggers us to be comfortable within a different age group, it may lead to a better understanding. What do we want someone older or younger than we are, to know about us? All of us have been in this situation. How do we want to be spoken to, and why – perhaps that’s the first step in choosing How We Want to Be Known As in our multi-generational world. Have a great week!
Jo Ann M. Radja, Career Management Coach & Change Agent 0426/12
Last Friday, I attended a business presentation one-half block away from Chicago’s famous Lake Shore Drive. Not only was the temperature in the high 40’s, the wind was everywhere. The wind pushed me forward; it made me push against it, while I walked the final block to the meeting. When I walked across the street, the wind pushed my hair upwards! I felt like I floated into the building once I pushed through the revolving entrance.
We’ve all heard the phrase of “being up against it.” It usually means getting something done in a short period of time. So how do you “push” through whatever makes you feel you’re “up against it”? What pressure do you feel when you are “pushing” to get something done? What trigger points come into play while you are “pushing” to get it done?
The easy part is knowing you do have a deadline. Many people thrive while “pushing against it”, but certainly not all. During this last week of April, Spring continues to “push through” it’s seasonal cycle. While you are “pushing up against it” this week, Choose Who You Want to Be Known As. Enjoy your week!
“Jo Ann” M. Radja, Career Management Coach & Change Agent 04/23/12
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