A few months ago, I finished reading a book by Margaret J. Wheatley: Turning to one another. Simple Conversations to restore hope in the future (2009). Ms. Wheatley follows the principle of Occam’s Razor – the simplest answer appears to be the right answer. What’s the simplest task we all share – communicating. “It’s not the differences that divide us. It’s our judgments about each other that do.” If we think about the last time we may have rolled our eyes or became quiet while listening to someone, what judgment did we have that caused the rolling of the eyes or the quietness. How did that emotion (underlying judgment) stop a positive conversation from beginning or continuing?

Let’s face it. We sometimes are not at our best in handling a situation. I may be biased because I like Chicago Pizza more than New York or California Pizza. Yet, I can appreciate and learn the uniqueness of each presentation of Pizza and the different ingredients. Once we recognize the bias for what it is, it helps to tame the judgment directing our actions, to allow anopen conversation to understand another’s perspective. Mr. Wheatley’s Turning to One Another is an enlightening process of understanding ourselves more than we might initially realize.

As you Choose Who You Want to be Known As, when a recent conversation didn’t go as well as you may have wanted, consider what you wanted to have happen. Was there an underlying judgment you may have had about the subject matter, or how the other person spoke or presented his viewpoint? An unconscious judgment can be tamed, once we identify it. The issue becomes, do you want to? How will it help you as you manage your career? ”

“Jo Ann” M. Radja, Executive and Career Management Coach

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